College Football Rankings- The News about Losing

Also check out the worst of the 2009 season-opening blowouts!

Losing Football - Turning Around a Losing Football Program

Building a successful college football program requires several key ingredients. Now that the 2008 campaign has concluded for some truly awful programs, the work to build losers into winners has begun. It is appropriate now, to look at some of the significant elements required for building a winning football program. Included on this list are:
- Finding enough Murray State and Western Kentucky football programs to build a schedule around,
- Identifying enough alumni who really believe in the institution’s academic focus to give thousands of hard-earned dollars so they can be entertained on autumn Saturdays, and
- Luring enough respectable athletes that are also capable of constructing complete sentences.

Scheduling
Early pioneers of creative scheduling used to rely on sportswriters to simply pick their team as a contender for the National Championship. In years past, the Cornish Game Huskers of Nebraska routinely scheduled unbelievably weak opponents to open their season. They would fill Memorial Stadium in Lincoln with throngs of beer basted, red nosed (and clad) fans to watch the Huskers thrash teams that could hardly assemble eleven people for the kick off.

The advent of the BCS scoring system changed all that. Instead of arranging weekly massacres of poor opponents in September, the Big and Red administration had to try and bring in some quality opponents such as Southern Cal and Virginia Tech. It is bad enough that Nebraska has to face serious competition in Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas during their conference schedule. Now, that danged BCS has made the Big and Red Fans (BaRFs), actually see some real games during the harvest season.

The University of Michigan – another of the hallowed monster football programs – used to try the weak-sister scheduling method to gather steam for a national championship run. Unfortunately for them (and a blessedly for the rest of us), over the past two seasons, they scheduled in Appalachian State and the University of Utah as part of their September Patsy Parade. The really bad news for the Wolverines is that both AppState and the Utes actually showed up. In 2008, an early loss to Utah set the stage for a remarkable skid into the grey land of bowl ineligibility. Now, all the snow choked Wolverine fans have to make up a reason to go drink beer in Florida while other teams continue to play football.

The Indiana Hoosier football team didn’t harbor any realistic thoughts of attending a bowl game this year, but they followed the scheduling methodology perfectly. They then hit the tank after a 2-0 start. In taking a closer look, those two early season wins against Western Kentucky and Murray State didn’t actually qualify as genuine games. Still, the Hoosiers actually played the games and managed to defeat both. It just didn’t prepare them for the rest of the Big Ten schedule, which quickly relegated Indiana to their usual place sweeping up the stalls at the bottom of the heap.

Alumni Relations
It has been said that to be successful as a college administrator, one must provide three things to three different constituencies. Students want sex, the faculty wants parking and alumni want winning sports. While the student interest generally takes care of itself and a modest effort can pacify the faculty demand for parking places and hook ups for electric cars, the Alumni demand is quite a bit more challenging.

Some of the more creative administrators remember that alumni were once students themselves and therefore might be more closely attuned to the student demand. That is why cheerleaders are instructed to perform in front of the alumni section as much as in front of the student cheap seats.

Free beer and chips also keep alumni pacified during losing seasons, but at some point, the administration needs to deliver either a winner on the field or provide the hope for delivering a winner. It is this last point that impacts the career of football coaches. Coaches are motivators – not only of players but of alumni as well. Players provide the muscle for on the field execution, alumni provide the funds for the weight room as well as the recruiting parties. Some of these alums attend as well.

Recruiting
A tribute to Dan Hawkins (currently coach of the Colorado Buffalos and formerly of Boise State), seems appropriate here. Motivational speaking can only accomplish so much. However, Hawkins has achieved a level of success rarely touched by others. Convincing a star pampered athlete to leave the comfortable confines of his San Diego prep school to play football on the frozen prairie wasteland of Idaho is a remarkable feat. It is so cold there that the field turned blue. Still the ‘Hawk’ hacked a powerhouse program out of that wilderness due to superior coaching ability and outstanding motivational skill.

Now, the University of Colorado – from its stunningly beautiful Boulder, CO campus - thinks that Hawkins should never lose another game. Unfortunately for the Buffalo Steaks, that hasn’t quite panned out just yet. Still, Hawkins has had some solid recruiting success and the CU program at least appears headed in the right direction. The Buffalos are the Sage’s pick for the surprise team of 2009.

When it comes down to it, there is only so much the coaches can do to produce a winner. They have to put talented athletes on the field. Unfortunately, they have to put these same athletes in Freshman English. Have you heard some of these athletes try to give a radio interview? Ask what it is to conjugate a verb and many will just ask for the key to the restroom. Success on the field does not guarantee success in the classroom. This may be why Duke has such a problem putting a competitive team on the field. Spelling one’s name correctly on the Duke entrance exam is but one requirement. Athletes need to be academically able to attend the Stanfords, Northwesterns, Vanderbilts, Notre Dames and Dukes of the football world. To these schools, the Sage sends his kudos. You can’t put students in the classroom who have trouble distinguishing verb from pronoun, even if they can run 40 yards in 4 seconds.

Coaching
There will be a number of new coaches and staffs in place for the 2009 season. Usually, season one for a new coaching staff is a disaster. Little recruiting has been done and there is no history for a star recruit to look at to help in his decision to attend. It is in these first years though, that the average viewer really learns who can coach and who can’t. If you have a team made up of essentially walk-on players taking the field to play Oklahoma, you are going to find out who can motivate his team to play its best. And every now and then, you get a huge upset. That is why we keep tuning in and buying the College Football Executive Package from our cable companies. So keep an eye on Sarkisian at Washington next year… Should the Huskies win a game next year, it will be because of solid coaching and not necessarily great recruiting.

Winning football traditions bring multiple of factors together for a successful season. But it’s the losers that figure out interesting ways to blow it. The Sage of College Football will be here to bring you all the fun and interesting tidbits for 2009.

College Football Humor – The Top Ten Early Season Blowouts for 2009

The grand tradition that is college football is rapidly approaching.  Soon, the overwhelming heat of summer will give way to overwhelming depression of losing in an opening day college football game.

Hope abounds for many programs intending to make a run at a New Year’s Day Bowl game.   The tradition of the college football season includes band marches, parades, cheerleaders and of course, the annual blowout game.  Some of these programs even work in a couple of these laughers to begin the season in the vain hope that wins over Southeastern New Hampshire will vault a school like Nebraska into the BCS polling lead.  Why anyone would pay to see these games is a mystery.  Smarter athletic administrators roll these tickets into the mandatory season ticket purchase package.  If one wants to see the Ohio State-Michigan game, you have to suffer through the home games against the Eastern and Western Michigan.  At least the Wolverines are keeping the embarrassment in state this year.

Still, these games have some meaning.   The aforementioned University of Michigan breathed new life into season opening games the past few seasons by losing at home to Division II Appalachian State.  The school didn’t give much thought to repeating an opening day disaster by scheduling in what was then thought to be losers from Utah.  Utah dished out another disaster in the Big House and ended the 2008 Wolverine program after game one.   Following these games, Wolverine alumni were able to get advanced season bookings for bowl season - in Mexico.

The Art of scheduling is a complex calculation undertaken to both guarantee a win at home for schools expecting to compete for the national championship and to provide some BCS schedule strength.   However, as games are scheduled so far in advance, some schools have thrown the calculation to the wind by writing in the weakest schools willing to play them.

The BCS scheme was originally set to provide better quality games earlier.  Southern schools took this seriously.  Early season games featuring Florida State against Miami and Virginia Tech vs. Alabama should round out a great Week 1 television schedule.  At least some southern schools want to compete.  Those games not on television the first week of the season probably deserve to be flushed.

Other schools perpetually involved in rebuilding years also try to schedule in weak opponents.  This sets up a significant bidding war for schools like Murray State and Western Kentucky.  Doormat schools finance much of their annual athletic budgets by agreeing to be whacked silly by a couple of college football’s powerhouses.

Lower ranked Division I schools also get into the act but are compelled to book games with weak Division II opponents.  Duke in a traditional game against the mighty Richmond (VA) Spiders usually prevails to boast a winning record for at least seven of the 365 days of the year.   The poor Indiana Hoosiers went 2-0 against outclassed opponents to start 2008 only to drop every subsequent contest.  Granted, the Hoosiers suffered some significant player injuries in ‘08, but building confidence with wins over James Madison and someone called Elon just isn’t logical.

So here is the first cut at the top ten blowout games for the 2009 season.  Please comment and offer suggestions for your worst games of 2009.

10. Idaho at New Mexico State – Although not necessarily a blowout, this game deserves mention because it involves two of the absolute worst programs in the country.  The administrations of these schools at least figured out that if two bad programs played each other on opening day and were able to keep it close, the embarrassment of losing big to start the season might be avoided.  New Mexico State’s hopes are rising with the hiring of new coach DeWayne Walker.  Walker hopes that a win will finally make the smell from the Las Cruces feed lots at least bearable.

9.  North Dakota State vs. Iowa State – The Cyclones hired former Auburn Coach Paul Rhoads to take over the floundering program.  (Interestingly, former Iowa State coach Gene Chizik who finished 2008 with a 2-10, wound up getting the Auburn head coaching job.)  Rebuilding may take more than one year, but Rhoads should get at least the first game into the ‘W’ column by playing a game against a school that most didn’t know even had a sports program.  Kudos to the Iowa State brass for giving Rhoads a chance to start out on the right foot, as the rest of this season may easily stumble over the cliff.

8.  Nebraska vs. Louisiana-Lafayette – Nebraska should have just kicked off the season against Big 12 foe Iowa State.  The poor and hapless Cyclones are just as bad and could have put a conference W in the books much sooner.  LA Lafayette has a unique kind of death wish for its program, as it will be fresh off a shellacking by LSU the week prior.

7.  Nebraska vs. Florida Atlantic – deserves honorable mention regardless of opponent strength.  Ostensibly, the Big and Red is preparing for a week three match up with Virginia Tech.  Nebraska used to compete hard for playing the Northern New Hampshire Drum and Bugle Corps in the annual season opener, but has since attempted to improve its Bowl chances in the past by scheduling games against UCLA and Southern California.   The Big and Red lost to USC last year, so they are pinning their hopes on winning just one challenging game before the Big 12 opener – this year against Virginia Tech this time on the road in week 3.

6.  Oklahoma vs. Idaho State (week 2) Why anyone with a marginal team would play OU so early in the season is a guess.  One guesses that the payday to Idaho State had a lot to do with the decision.  Prior to June 15, Idaho State still listed its opponent for that date as ‘TBA.’  The school is desperately trying to forget this game before it happens.  If they can sneak into Norman and slink out with their money before anyone notices, it will be ‘mission accomplished.’

5.  Texas vs. Louisiana-Monroe - Louisiana Monroe is indeed a real NCAA school.  Why they would take on the Longhorns in Austin for the opener is comical.  LM finished next-to-last in the Sun Belt Conference and harbors no real expectations to knock off the ‘horns.  Texas could really improve their chances with a home win against a quality opponent, but in a very un-Southern move, (a worse insult the Sage of College Football cannot imagine), chose to dish out a tail-kicking to an inferior program.

4.  LSU vs. Louisiana-Lafayette – LSU probably didn’t intentionally set this game up as a blowout.  They were just looking for a scrimmage to avoid accidental injury to front line players.  LA Lafayette turns in a decent record but if they pull out a win over the Tigers, the Governor will have the coach hunted through the bayou with hound dogs.

3.  Utah vs. Utah State -  Incredibly interesting that one of the best teams last year hails from an ignored western state where the other state school is a perennial doormat.  At least the Utah taxpayers won’t have to worry about a lot of travel costs to see one of its teams beat the stuffing out of the other.

2.  North Texas at Alabama – week 3.  Alabama will be coming off games against Virginia Tech and Florida International.  Should the Tide roll in those games, they are going to be hungry.  If they fail in either of those games, Alabama will be severely bent out of shape. In either case, the North Texas Mean Green will emerge a color other than what they went in with.

1.  Penn State vs. Akron (week 1) In the Ben Dover Memorial Game, the Nittany Lions are scheduled to administer a royal whupp’n to the Akron Red Hawks to open the season in College Station.  Why games like this count is beyond understanding.   The Red Hawks turned in a respectable 5-7 season in the Mid America Conference last season, but never had to contend with throngs of wild and liquored up blue and white painted fans and a team expecting to be playing football well into 2010.  Akron may be looking past Penn State to their dates with Morgan State and Indiana the following weeks.

Upset special… Michigan vs. anybody in week 1.  Establishing a tradition of losing and causing alumni to again bank their frequent flyer miles, the once mighty Wolverines have fallen on hard times.  This year, Western Michigan journeys to the Big House to see if they can duplicate the App State/Utah magic.  The Maize and Blue, after years of questioning whether there were other football teams in the state, won’t be looking past the Broncos.  In fact, they may just be sitting on the sidelines hoping for a great natural disaster to overshadow another horrible season opening home loss.  At least it might be worth watching.

Hello and welcome to the first edition of the 2009 College Football Ranking special!

Over the next several weeks, we will explore the worst of college football and by week one, assemble the list into a comprehensive first-worst college football ranking!

So join the fun!  Contribute!  Look for more starting this weekend!

Signed…

The Sage of College Football